I’m an open book

I have no idea what I’m doing here, what this will evolve into, or whether I’ll even care about this next week. I simply know I sometimes like to get my thoughts down in writing, and this seemed a good place to keep them organized.



Pay Attention

The ego⚡️ doesn’t meditate. It won’t meditate. It can’t meditate. If you can’t seem to find time every day to meditate, your ego⚡️ might be running your life for you. It pays to pay attention to yourself.

Here’s a quick and dirty awareness trick:

Every time you mount the throne, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and then do your business.

Congratulations! You have just meditated!

– Yuri

Ignorance vs. stupidity

Lack of understanding is due to ignorance, or stupidity.

Strike 1: Ignorance

  • state of not knowing something which is knowable.
  • lack of knowledge or information

Now you know…

Strike 2: Stupidity

  • lack of intelligence
  • lack of good sense
  • poor judgement

Everyone makes mistakes…

There are two types of stupidity:

Ball 1: Honourable stupidity

  • the inability to understand

You couldn’t have known better…

Strike 3: Intelligent stupidity

  • the unwillingness to understand
  • willful ignorance
  • moral deafness to learning already received.

You’re out!

Intelligent stupidity is the root cause of today’s biggest issues.

  • I do not empathize with those unwilling to learn.
  • I won’t sympathize with those unwilling to engage in honest discourse.
  • Those who rationalize or justify their refusal to understand receive no mercy from me.
  • Those who project or blame are simply ignored.

– Yuri

shared ignorance

But if you are bewildered, is it not clear from what has gone before [118b] that you are not only ignorant (ἀγνοεῖς) of the greatest things, but while not knowing them you think that you do?

I am afraid so.

Alack then, Alcibiades, for the plight you are in! I shrink indeed from giving it a name, but still, as we are alone, let me speak out. You are wedded to stupidity (ἀμαθίᾳ) my fine friend, of the vilest kind; you are impeached of this by your own words, out of your own mouth; and this, it seems, is why you dash into politics before you have been educated. And you are not alone in this plight, but you share it with most of those who manage our city’s affairs, [118c] except just a few, and perhaps your guardian, Pericles.

— Alcibiades Major…

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Empaths vs. HSP (They’re Not the Same Thing)

Chakra Center

NOTE: This article was written a few years ago when I was still in the process of dealing with my own anger and out of balance relationships with HSP. Much of my views have softened, expanded, and changed since then, but I leave it up because I know how many empaths go through this phase in their journey to get free, and every perspective along the way is valid.

The term empath and “highly sensitive person” often get lumped together, but they are not the same thing..

Most experts agree all empaths are highly sensitive, but not all highly sensitive people are empaths. Here’s the distinction:

A HSP is sensitive and primarily reactive to the energy around them. Dr. Elaine Aron, the originator of the term, defines it this way:

“A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is tearsmore…

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Gratitude is strewn all over the place. Find it, gather it up, pile it in to yourself, fill yourself up, get more, stuff in extra, then dish it out to people who could use some reciprocation from you. Gratitude is free and the world could use more of it.

You can attune yourself to notice it more often by imagining worst case scenarios (yes, including death). If that seems a bit intimidating, you can get a pen and paper out and brainstorm.

Off the top of my head, I am grateful:

  • for my solitude.
  • for the internet.
  • for my health.
  • for my sensitivity.
  • for every experience in my past.
  • for my love of learning.
  • I’m able to find or instill great meaning into anything I wish.
  • for my ability to think critically as well as creatively.
  • for my congruent understanding of reality.
  • for my emotional intelligence.
  • for my intolerance for cognitive dissonance and inauthenticity.
  • my future self will be proud of me.
  • for my intuition.
  • for my mad pattern-recognition skillz
  • for my responsibilities.
  • for my commitment to radical honesty.
  • I can trust myself completely.
  • for my perspective-shifting mastery.
  • for my equanimity.
  • for inner peace.
  • I have no regrets.

I know, I know…most of these are qualities in myself, but these are what came to me first! Go fig… I guess I am self-centered.

I intuitively feel there are 1000s more, though, and I don’t want to offend anyone, so I’m also grateful:

  • for my soul mates: those 5 non-judgemental masochists who understand me enough to resonate with my being.
  • for my messed up family: those 4 others who nurtured me and never quit on me.
  • for all the other caring people in my life who tolerate me. Maybe 8 others.

What are you grateful for?

Locus of Control

I’ve always had control issues… namely, I hate being controlled. I was inspired to look into the concept of a locus of control.

An excerpt from Flow, Validation, State and Productivity:

“Being primarily internally validated is about having a strong internal locus of control (feeling that you are in control), and a refined ability to control your own state.”

Those with an internal locus of control have been shown to have improved physical health, mental health and quality of life.

My suggestion is to break away from caring what others think about you. A focus on self-improvement is the highest calling I’ve received, so I’ve turned it into a daily habit and do it my way. The rest of humanity can suck the benefits as a side-effect of the connection we all share. I enjoy seeing the ripples I cause by me being me.

Yes… that’s me in the photo. I’m easy to please. I’m 40 and I enjoy daily dancing to the newest EDM cranked a bit louder than is safe in the comfort of my own home. Dancing keeps me physically and mentally fit, while allowing me an optimal flow mindset of openness and acceptance. I use this state to clean out my mind, process my emotions, make connections, develop my theories, research, socialize, and write.

I am internally validated, controlled, and motivated. I post for myself, to organize my thoughts and provide a journal-style history I can check back on to see my progress. Read at your own risk, I am not liable for any damage caused to your life or psyche.

This is post 52 of the Discipline Challenge I committed myself to a few weeks back. 

Loving the Frightened

She fears:

  • rejection, so she doesn’t commit.
  • vulnerability, so she stonewalls.
  • society, so she imprisons herself.
  • the outdoors, so she doesn’t go anywhere.
  • the unknown, so inhabits her comfort zone.
  • humiliation, so won’t try.
  • chaos, so she avoids change.
  • criticism, so feigns inadequacy.
  • losing control, so won’t allow herself to feel.
  • conflict, so she won’t assert herself.
  • the now, because it might bore her.
  • the past, so escapes to the future.
  • the future, so she fantasizes.
  • life, so shoots people all day.
  • death, because she has no morals.
  • the truth, so forfeits meaning.
  • responsibility, so will never be free.
  • herself, so distracts herself from herself.
  • the written word, so blinds herself into illiteracy.
  • her mind, so she narcotizes.
  • her values, so she won’t examine them.
  • expectations, knowing she will not live up to them.
  • her emotions, so she is an emotional child.
  • reality, so she deludes her narrative.
  • logic, so behaves irrationally.
  • true love, so won’t commit.
  • fear itself, so she is enslaved by it.

I remember my fearful days. I had to ask myself some serious questions, such as:

  1. Is the fear legitimate?
  2. What’s the worst case scenario?
  3. What’s likely to happen?
  4. Is that worse than the situation now?
  5. Am I being 100% honest with myself?

And I learned an empowering phrase I still use today, on a daily basis whenever I find myself fearful, avoidant, procrastinating, or hesitant. I tell myself aloud to “fkit” and do it regardless of what my over-analytical mind is thinking.

– Yuri

Self-Discipline Challenge

Today, I will begin a self-discipline habit. Here’s how I will do it:

1. declare what I am doing publicly with this post

2. brand it:

💥 #disciplinechallenge

3. pick a task that:

  • benefits my life
  • benefits humanity
  • I am able to do daily
  • challenges me
  • positively worded

4. publicly report it daily with an activity tile on Argus

5. do NOT go to sleep that day until the task is done

I will commit to a minimum of 5 minutes every day for 30-days. I was inspired reading Discipline Challenge on Zen Habits.

Now to select a task…