Loving the Frightened

She fears:

• rejection, so she doesn’t commit.
• vulnerability, so she stonewalls.
• society, so she imprisons herself.
• the outdoors, so she doesn’t go anywhere.
• the unknown, so inhabits her comfort zone.
• humiliation, so won’t try.
• chaos, so she avoids change.
• criticism, so feigns inadequacy.
• losing control, so won’t allow herself to feel.
• conflict, so she won’t assert herself.
• the now, because it might bore her.
• the past, so escapes to the future.
• the future, so she fantasizes.
• life, so shoots people all day.
• death, because she has no morals.
• the truth, so forfeits meaning.
• responsibility, so will never be free.
• herself, so distracts herself from herself.
• the written word, so blinds herself into illiteracy.
• her mind, so she narcotizes.
• her values, so she won’t examine them.
• expectations, knowing she will not live up to them.
• her emotions, so she is an emotional child.
• reality, so she deludes her narrative.
• logic, so behaves irrationally.
• true love, so won’t commit.
• fear itself, so she is enslaved by it.

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I remember my fearful days. I had to ask myself some serious questions, such as:

1. Is the fear legitimate?
2. What’s the worst case scenario?
3. What’s likely to happen?
4. Is that worse than the situation now?
5. Am I being 100% honest with myself?

And I learned an empowering phrase I still use today, on a daily basis whenever I find myself fearful, avoidant, procrastinating, or hesitant. I tell myself aloud to “fkit” and do it regardless of what my over-analytical mind is thinking.

– Yuri