Category Archives: #mykindofchurch

Keys to Communication

Personal Awareness, Growth and Healing

It can be so easy to think you are understanding exactly what someone else is trying to communicate, when in reality you are nowhere close to understanding. If you truly want to do your best to understand someone:

1) Let go of thoughts and pay attention to the other person.

2) Look at them while they are talking and try to read visual clues. Looking at them will also show that you are interested in what they are saying and usually helps the other person be more at ease.

3) Ignore your assumptions and biases. It is much better not to make any at all, but many, maybe most have these deeply ingrained.

4) Let the other person finish vocalizing their thoughts without interruption. Wait for a 3 second lull before responding. Deter any unnecessary rambling politely.

5) Check that each interpretation is correct by repeating your perception of what…

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Locus of Control

I’ve always had control issues… namely, I hate being controlled. I was inspired to look into the concept of a locus of control.

An excerpt from Flow, Validation, State and Productivity:

“Being primarily internally validated is about having a strong internal locus of control (feeling that you are in control), and a refined ability to control your own state.”

Those with an internal locus of control have been shown to have improved physical health, mental health and quality of life.

My suggestion is to break away from caring what others think about you. A focus on self-improvement is the highest calling I’ve received, so I’ve turned it into a daily habit and do it my way. The rest of humanity can suck the benefits as a side-effect of the connection we all share. I enjoy seeing the ripples I cause by me being me.

Yes… that’s me in the photo. I’m easy to please. I’m 40 and I enjoy daily dancing to the newest EDM cranked a bit louder than is safe in the comfort of my own home. Dancing keeps me physically and mentally fit, while allowing me an optimal flow mindset of openness and acceptance. I use this state to clean out my mind, process my emotions, make connections, develop my theories, research, socialize, and write.

I am internally validated, controlled, and motivated. I post for myself, to organize my thoughts and provide a journal-style history I can check back on to see my progress. Read at your own risk, I am not liable for any damage caused to your life or psyche.

This is post 52 of the Discipline Challenge I committed myself to a few weeks back.